Tuesday, 17 March 2015

Bullying.

It was a sad week.
After a long waiting and long search the 20 year-old student from Crete island who had vanished into thin air a month ago outside his school in Ioannina, was found dead. He had committed suicide after having been abused and bullied by some of his colleagues at school.
Having a student son of the same age had made me think of that young man all the time. I wanted him to be found. I wanted him to be alive and see how much people loved him apart for his awful silly bullies at school. But he was found dead and in fact he had been dead all this time that people were looking for him. Sad, so sad!
Bullying has become the most commomnly used word these days around here. Everyone talks about bullying. At schools, at colleges, in the army, at work, in our society.
And everyone wonders what should be done. What has led to that type of behaviour?
I was sad to hear that some scientists exclaimed that the last decade bullying has developed into a life threatening behaviour mainly due to the financial crisis in Greece!
Really?
Then I must remember wrongly that I had been bullied at High school when I was 15, so many many years ago, by my classmates. They called me names and didn't let me speak in class. They had created a nickname for me and were whispering it every time I tried to open my mouth and talk, to them or to my friends or in class to teachers.
For them it was fun! For me it was a nightmare. I never really had a huge sense of humour but I couldn't find it funny! I found it disgusting and it made me sad.And it added to my lack of self confidence. But it also made me stronger.
I never thought I wouldn't go back to school though. I never considered committing suicide because of their behaviour.
And by trying to be friendly with them in the end we managed to come closer, we actually managed to become friends with my bullies. We managed to be in normal speaking terms and now when we meet in the street after so many years we make fun of those days.
But it isn't the same for everyone.Not everyone can stand it.Others are more fragile.And this young man's bullying was of a very worse type. His bullies abused him physically and verbally for  a very long time.
And there we have questions like what is society doing about it, what his teachers did about it. I won't judge and I won't defend anyone. It is the role of the police and the courts to find out if his teachers and the people around him did or didn't do what they should have.
As a teacher in a Primary State School I admit that I have met with cases of bullying even in such young age. Can you believe it that there are 1st graders who bully their classmates? In our school we do our best to change this and protect everyone, the bullied and the bullies and change their behaviour. But if parents do nothing at home and simply abuse their children or even come bullying the teachers at school then their children will become bullies too. Apples fall under the apple tree they say, in good and in bad occasions unfortunately.
Vangelis Yakoumakis is considered the first victim of bullying in Greece! I don't know if he is the first, I just hope he is the last. Today was his funeral.Rest in peace dear sweet young man!

13 comments:

erina konstantara said...

Μας "τιμώρησε" όλους ο Βαγγελάκης. Ακόμα και αν τιμωρηθούν όλοι οι ιεραρχικά υπαίτιοι, και πρέπει να γίνει αυτό, πρέπει να καταλάβουμε πώς όταν η λαϊκή αμορφωσιά και ο ωχαδερφισμός των γονιών, των δασκάλων και των καθηγητών θα απουσιάσει από τις ζωές μας, τότε θα μπορούμε να φτιάξουμε έναν κόσμο χωρίς δήμιους. Καλό ταξίδι παιδί μας!

butterfly said...



So sad.

Lynda Ruth Bowers said...

someone tried to bully me in high school but I just beat them up and they left me alone. They got in trouble because I had witnesses who stood up for me and I also had two brothers, so I would always being taking care of myself from my brothers so bullies did not work, but they spit on me and that made me mad as a hatter so they got it from me and the principal of the high school. That was the one and only time any one bothered me. Rest in peace young lad, God will take care of you now. Hugs Lynda Ruth

Dimitra Decorasylum said...

Δεν ξέρω Αριάδνη μου.. όταν πήγαινα εγώ σχολείο, ναι, πειράγματα είχαμε αλλά σε τέτοιο βαθμό, όχι. Δεν βρίσκω καμία λογική σε ό,τι έγινε, ούτε εκ μέρους των συμφοιτητών του, ούτε εκ μέρους της σχολής, ούτε εκ μέρους της ίδιας της τελικής πράξης από τον ίδιο. Είναι τόσο κρίμα να παραδίδεις την ζωή σου αλλά σε μία κοινωνία που ξεχνά την Παιδεία (η οποια φυσικά ξεκινά από το ίδιο μας το σπίτι), όλα νομίζω είναι πλέον αναμενόμενα.

Thalia Tzellou said...

Καλημέρα Αριάδνη μου.Πολύ καυτό το θέμα που αγγίζεις. Είναι πολύ λυπηρό να συμβαίνουν τέτοιες καταστάσεις που να οδηγούν στην αυτοκτονία ενός παιδιού. Δυστυχώς το φαινόμενο είναι πολύ πιο συχνό απ' ότι νομίζει ο κόσμος και συναντάται πλέον σε όλα τα σχολεία λίγο ή πολύ. Η κόρη μου βίωσε το bulling από τα νήπια ακόμη. Περάσαμε πολύ άσχημες καταστάσεις. Στην πρώτη δημοτικού έλεγε ότι θέλει να πεθάνει και στην τρίτη το άγχος της σωματοποιήθηκε. Δεν μας βοηθούσε κανείς. Αναγκάστηκα να ξεσπιτωθώ και να πάω στην Καρδίτσα στους δικούς μου για να αλλάξει σχολείο και ψυχολογία. Ευτυχώς τελικά τώρα που πάει πέμπτη γυρίσαμε στο σπίτι μας και έχοντας αποκτήσει τρομερή εμπιστοσύνη στον εαυτό της, έκοψε κάθε περιθώριο να την χτυπήσουν ή να την κοροιδέψουν και τώρα μάλιστα όπως και συ έχει φιλικές σχέσεις με τα συγκεκριμένα παιδιά. Το πρόβλημα είναι πολλές φορές η λάθος αντιμετώπιση απο κάποιους δασκάλους , χωρίς να γίνεται εσκεμένα φυσικά και η άρνηση γονιών να συνεργαστούν για να σταματήσουν τα φαινόμενα βίας. Μακάρι να υπήρχαν κάποια σεμινάρια για δασκάλους για να ξέρουν τι να κάνουν σε τέτοιες περιπτώσεις και πρέπει να ευαισθητοποιηθεί και η κοινωνία.

Zina Z said...

εχω σαστισει, εχω στεναχωρηθει και εχω εκπλαγει με την ολη ιστορια. Ο βαγγελης δυστυχως δεν ειναι το μονο παιδι που αντιμετωπιζει τετοιες καταστασεις και μενει αβοηθητος. πρεπει όλοι να αναλογιστουμε τις ευθυνες μας και να προσπαθησουμε να βελτιωσουμε την κατασταση. Και με στεναχωρει το γεγονος ότι κανεις δε μιλουσε...ενα κοινο μυστικο. τι να πω?

ας εχει καλο παραδεισο ο Βαγγελης και ελπίζω να μην εχουμε ποτε ξανα τετοια φαινομενα.

Brigitte Lepoix said...

Very sad!

Stella Papadopoulos said...

Beautiful tribute. May God comfort this family in such a tragic circumstance.

evdokiatsiligiridou said...

very sad and cruel story.

Mii Stitch said...

This is indeed so sad that today's Society is being so mean...
I was too bullied at school because of my hair colour (redhead)!!! Never would have turned to suicide, it's letting this nasty people win!

Mii Stitch said...

This is indeed so sad that today's Society is being so mean...
I was too bullied at school because of my hair colour (redhead)!!! Never would have turned to suicide, it's letting this nasty people win!

Andria said...

I missed reading this last week Ari … what a sad story.

Magali@TheLittleWhiteHouse said...

I too was bullied at school, but I never made friends with those who bullied me, it did make me stronger like you said, but I know to some other people, it can be devastating, as I sometimes see it among my pupils. It's very, very difficult as a teacher to notice things as they don't happen in the classroom.